Embracing the new Void

All I could remember is they gave me anasthesia and performed D&C procedure also known as Dilatation and Curettage process , in medical words a surgical procedure in which the cervix (lower, narrow part of the uterus) is dilated (expanded) so that the uterine lining (endometrium) can be scraped with a curette (spoon-shaped instrument) to remove remaining tissues of unborn who could not make it. In my words, it was letting go of newborn feelings of expecting and unborn feelings of post expectation. Even the void was felt as if filled with unexpressed everything that could have happened. Those instagram pages which was subscribed for tips and guide during pregnancy haunted me. The pop ups on my tracker app was squeezing my heart. We grew a feeling of something new, which turned into habit and departed leaving the numbness. 

All these are now gone and cannot be brought back. The pages don't haunt me anymore, the tracker is reset back to normal and the numbness is left with a new void that made a place to settle which was never there before. While depression held me in a cage, I realised on perspective of rational thinking, I can make a choice. A choice to embrace the new feeling that left me ajar for new beginning. 

My heart goes for those who went through such  trauma , any trauma but silently suffering. Which is absolutely fine because sometimes we alone need to take a stand to hold ourselves and no one can help in doing so.

Thank you for reading❣️

Thank you my beloved husband for all the efforts and love you shower always. 

A Part Of Mine

Edited on Canva App

Thank you for reading

If you can take time and write a feedback I will appreciate it. 

Keep reading and writing. 

Jubeda

If You Want to be You, Be.

 IF YOU WANT TO BE YOU, BE.

If you want to be a sailor,

But you are afraid of failure,

Fail, against the strongest sea storms,

Because you'll not learn to sail in the proms.

If you want to be a princess

But you are afraid to fight for fortress,

Fight, against the swords raised to bleed you,

Because you'll not learn swordmanship in cocoon.

If you want to be you,

But you are afraid of others'  hue,

Others will not be your rainbow and sunshine,

Be your own self and you'll be fine.

And so, if you want to be you , be.